The lessons we learn...

I just got back from a walk in the history grave yard by ETBU: I think everyone should go walk by themselves through a grave yard on a quiet day when the sun is shinning. I began thinking of scritptures about men; here is my train of thought kind of mixing different verses.

"Who is man that you are mindful of him?...from the dust of the earth were you formed, and to the dust of the earth shall you return...like the grass of the fields which is hear today and gone tomorrow...You made man a little lower than the angels, put all thing under his feet...God breathed the breath of life into his nostriles...For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of power and love...and to those who have called upon his name he has given the right to be called the sons of God."

Wow. There were a few graves of confederate soldiers there; just seeing the silent stones marking the place where the shell of brave men who once lived was burried was powerful. Men died for an idea, for a belief. Why are we so reluctant to die for God, but willing to die for freedom?

One of the saddest graves was the grave of a little girl named Eunice who was only ten months old when she left this earth. Eunice never got to run and play, Eunice never knew adulthood, Eunice missed so much of life. May I never forget the precious gift that has been given me of my eighteen and a half years on this earth! Time is fleeting and life is beyond price. The things you can learn in a grave yard!

Note!

I got MS Office last night! For the first time in my life I have access to Exel! I finally have Word! I also have like my favorite microsoft program, Publisher! I am on the same page as the rest of the world now!

Amazing...

Despite the fact that it is a very dreary day, I am having a pretty good day. I just got back from a walk around campus and I feel very good despite my cold cheeks. I passed the grave yard; I will go wander around there sometime. I didn't today because I didn't want to get my shoes dirty and my pants wet. That would stink. I was thinking how sad it is that once someone dies they are buried and largly forgotten unless they did something really splended with thier life. We remember Abraham Lincone and Ceaser, but not people like Pearl Anne Baker (My great-great grandmother). When you think about it really, what is a human life but a leaf in the wind? However, we need not be depressed and fear because the king of all creation remembers our name and has called us to be his own. Because I am his, my name will never be forgotten- it is written in the book of life. Because I belong to the King, my body will rot and my earthly name be forgotten, but my essence, *me*, will sing with the angels in heaven. Wow. The things we learn from the simplest occurances in our life.
I am feeling really sorry for Dr. Sulton right now. He canceled his recital and has not been seen all day. I am not sure why; I wonder if he will tell us why during studio class. I was afraid that he might kill himself from being in "recital mode", but now I think he will have bigger problems. As strang as he is, and as much as I laugh at him, I geninly like and respect him. I hope that he copes well and gets over this dissapointment quickly.
I can't think of anything else even remotly interesting to say. I am done.

Wow!

Yesterday I almost was run over by a big truck while I was flying blindly down the highway at 65 mph. That was not fun. I was going blind because my windows had fogged up. Luckliy, I got off the highway before I died, and God sent a wonderful hiway patrol man to save me. I felt loved. : )
Dr. Sulton is still in recital mode-I hope for his sake that he can take it till the actual event. I am glad that I am not giving a recital yet; otherwise I would just die now and save everyone the bother of killing me slowly.
Hymnology is to much fun for its own good. I love the music, I love hymns, it is a fun class, and Dr. Dearman is teaching it! What more is there?
Last night I got to bed after 12, and when my alarm went off at 6:10 I turned on my light so that I would not do what I promptly did; go back to sleep. I woke again at 6:30 with half and hour to get out the door. Ahhh! I somehow got myself and all my junk out the door, and THANK GOD it was not a misty/foggy morning so I didn't have a repeat of yesterday. (Once was quite enough thank you) I heard Dr. Sulton's recital (WOW!), and I didn't get like any of my own practicing done today. Oh well! That is just to bad!
Nothing else big has happened in my recent life other than I am now on a quest to see both Labyrinth and The Phantom of the Opera. I want to see Labyrinth for a funny reason, and I LOVED the music and the book of TPOTO.
Oh, I orderd MS Office yesterday! I can't wait for it to come! I HATE Word Perfect. MS has several terrible problems itself, but MSW is better than WP. Enough ranting--more later!

Cool quote!

I forgot that I wanted to put this cool quote up!

"A sense of humor is a measurement of the extent to which we realize that we are trapped in a world almost totally devoid of reason. Laughter is how we express the anxiety we feel at this knowledge." --Dave Barry

It's been awhile...

Well, I am back at school, practicing three really cool pieces, and mostly oriented. I still feel a little scrambled anytime any one asks me to think, but I am working on coraling my brain from the far reaches of the universe whence they scattered several years ago... Oh well, it is worth a shot!
So far all my classes have been going GREAT! I am fine in Math so far (YEAH!), I was told today that the worst part of theory is over (that remains to be seen...), and I just need to practice ear training a little more and I should be fine. : )
I have rather mixed feelings about getting Monday off; I think it is nice to have a break for a nice man like Martin Luther King Jr., but why don't we get our own founding father's birthdays off? And is it really fair to give everyone three whole days to slip back into vacation mode? We are just getting reved up to go! Oh well, I was not consulted about a great deal of the descisions made 'round here. Humph. I bet I could do a pretty good job of running a university if given the chance!
I am killing time till GSR right now. I guess I could/should be practicing right now, but I don't want to. :::evil laugh:::
I was insulted by one of my piano students yesterday. I wanted to punch his face of spank him. Either one would have worked. He told me that he didn't want to suffer through my playing (I had offered to play a hymn that he had never heard for him so he would have some idea of what he was doing). I hope the proffs at LU smash him flat. I wish an D on him, and may he get stuck in the perspective vortex and go mad. There. I feel better now.
Even if he is a rude person, Dr. Sulton has yet to complain and he is in a much better place to make comments like that! Well, he has told me he dosn't like my playing, but it was more in the form of, "Do that better!" Now I am babbling. I with an ent would walk down the hallway. Then I could call Elise and Annie and say, "AN ENT IS WALKING DOWN THE HALLWAY IN THE MUSIC BUILDING! I AM GOING TO ASK FOR HIS AUTOGRAPHE!" I would also hit myself in the head becuase I have no way to take a picture of him. : ) I love random fantisies!

Shopping Whirl!

I have had about to many blessings for one person today! I went out arrend running/christmas shopping this morning. Driving yourself around is a HUGE improvment over how we used to do it! I went to Mundt Music to research adult piano curiculum, and then I went to Tuesday Morning to see what there was there. I bought my first of two guilty "me" purchases there, a TY beanie bear whoes names is "Killarney." I couldn't resiste a darling wee Irish bear! I found a gift for Lucy there, as well as something for my friend Rebekah. After that, I went to the bank by the mall and resubmited the check that one of my piano moms bounched on me. Lo and behold, it went through this time! I hope I put her out. >: )
Not really, I am just glad to be able to get half of the money she ows me back and to be able to wash my hands of them. After that happy discovery, I zipped to Hastings to pick up my Parents gifts. Then up the road to the used books store that I LOVE, and I sold them a book and bought two more. In a fit of maddness I decided to go to BAM; the parking lot was a madhouse, but undetered I went in. I found what I wanted for Mercy, and then waited for a long time to get out of the parking lot. Whew! I had a most productive morning, am flat broke, and feeling much better about the holidays. I took Mummy out this afternoon in the escort, and we ate a whole loaf of hot, fresh, French bread. Oh boy, that was worth it! I wana go to France...
Supper is pancakes--yum! My grandparents are coming to visit on Wensday--this is a very big event in Burklin History. The Moran grandparents have not spend Christmas with us for 17 years, i.e. since I was 1. Cool! I can't wait! Tomorrow I am going over to Rebekah's; I have not seen her since early November. Much to long! I can't wait!
Random Comment: I love my green beenie bear!

Wow!

I am out of school! I have a few weeks to do fun things, not practice, and read! Yeah!
Yesterday afternoon I went with my Mom, Mary, and Mercy to Marshall to do some shopping. We went to Marshall Pottery--AWSOME PLACE! I just wish I had had some money with me! (I had lost my wallet) It was fun to walk around and see all the interesting Christmas tress and go into the room with the coffee and smell. One Christmas tree really struck me becuase it looked like my Grandmother. The tree had hydrangas in the branches (Grandma has hydrangas all over her kitched!), and all the ornaments were ladylike and Grandma like. I thought that was really cool. What do you think a Christmas tree that looks like me would be like? Hmm...
After Marshall Pottery we went to Payless and found out that there were a whole lot of boot for unbelievable (under $8!) prices! The boots that I have been drooling over all semester were in this catagory! Oh we were excited! For awhile the isle was sort of lost in a flurry of large boxes and exited Burklins with big feet trying on boots and jumping for joy. (I was jumping/dancing a little. I was so happy!) So now Mary, Mercy, and I all have matching brown boots, and Mummy and I have black ones in the same style. Who knew that boots could bring so much joy into our lives?
Last night we watched the first disk of the extended Return of the King. Wow! Oh, we watched the first scene on the other side, when Legolas shoots Peter Jackson. Rock on! I can't wait to see the rest. I was ready to stay up forever to finish, but off to bed we went. Poo. Oh well, Faramir and Eowyn are up on this disk! :::dances in delighted circle::: Good day yesterday!

I am staggering around, barely alive...

The reason for that heading is the Into to Music final. Remember the scene in Monsters Inc where the "scream extractor" is used? Well, I felt like a "brain extractor" got put to my head. Oh my, I have never had such a hard final. Even the Bib. Lit. one was more fun. My brain hurt after spitting all that information out on a piece of paper. I was writting as fast as I could so that I could get as much info as possible on before my brain shut off in protest. Wow! That class was a doosey! I have a Brit Lit final today. yeah! That one will be do problem! I am ready for finals to be over. Just three more and I am free!

I've been thinking...

I had a great weekend with Elise! And then I went to see Annie so it got even better! What would I do without my wonderful friends!
I have been thinking about a bunch of things lately--both about having a community to belong to and another thing. I have never had a music community to belong to before-what a blessing! I love musicians! Never before have I been able to laugh at music jokes with other people who get them without being explained, and never before have I had people to make music with. God was good in letting me go to ETBU.
Another thing that has been crawling around in my mind has been language. God gave us words to express ourself and to communicate with others and Him, yet we have corrupted them and turned them into an instrument of evil. So many of the words I hear today are ugly; the scary thing is that I am getting used to them! I have to constantly decide what words to use, and it can be a real fight to keep from using common words. Oh my, words are powerful and our choice of words should be extra thoughful as Christians. Yet how easy it is to chose words to come out of our mouths that do not glorfy God, and that do not edify those who hear.
This whole thought leads into my ideas about praise and worship songs. I feel that because God is above us, we should use our best language and our best expressions of creativity to reach him. I am not trying to say that God will not take whatever efforts we extend to him, yet I truely feel that at least in my heart I need to offer up my best to God. My best is best expressed in old hymns which is why I vastly perfer to sing them. I like some praise and worship songs, but for the most part I find it easier for me to offer my best to God if I am singing hymns. Just some thoughts.
I have an Ear Training final in 30 minutes, and I have an Intro to Music final at 1. Ick. Oh well, I will live. God bless all the poor college students in thine tender care, and please give us good grades to celebrate here!

Let the Earth Rejoce!

Jurries are over! They went really well! I have two finals out of the way now, and life looks good!
I was burning leaves today; I am sitting in the lab smelling smokey, but that is just to bad. I kind of like smelling smokey. I didn't know until supper last night that we were going to be doing the leaf work at Dr. Austin's today. I was not thrilled, but it is a little more money for the X-mas fund. Man, Christmas is coming up fast!
Chai Party tonight. I sort of want to just fast forward to the day when fianls are over. However, that is not possible. Oh well. Things happen!
I can't think of anything else to say, so I will post my fianls peom that I came up with last year:
To the tune of "In Dreams":
When the time of exams comes
midnight oil will blend with day
In the veiling of the sun,
We hope we haven't,
Learned in vain.
But in dreams,
We will sleep again,
And in dreams,
We will be free, again.

When the books and papers fall,
And we file, them all away,
In the fall I hear a call,
Calling me there, I will go there,
and learn again.
~~Lina B.

Not the best thing in the world, but it went well with a picture of Boromir after Gandalf yelled in Black Speach during the councel of Elrond. Oh well. I am done!

AHHHHH!

You know that Celi Rain song about barley staying inside of your own skin (well, Annie will know what I am talking about!)? That is how I feel right now. Jurries are in 2 hours and 19 minutes and I am starting to feel the familare PERFORMANCE FREEZE. I am so glad that after today it will mostly be over. Finals don't scare me near as much as jurries. Oh I want to be done with them! Ack! I know I will do well, but telling myslef that dosn't always help. ::::head bang::::
I am still upset over the check that got bounced on me over Thanksgiving. I can't get a hold of the person, and I am watching my Christmas money evaporate. Argh! I want to wring her little neck... But then I guess she wouldn't pay me. ::sigh:: I am sure God will work it out, but it is hard to wait when that much money was lost.
I found out that I now have 2 non-comprehensive finals instead of only one. Thank you Dr. Whaley! I love non-comprehensive finals! I want finals to start--I want them over with!
Well, there is nothing else to say other than it is now 2 hours and 15 minutes till jurries. Will let you know the results!

I wish someone would comment on my blog!

There were grimlins in the Stienway on Friday. Ryan got them out though. I am trying to get ride of my own little performance grimlins. The Symphony is tonight. I lugged all my stuff over, and I am afraid that by the time comes to put it all on I won't care any more. My parents are heading to New Orleans tomorrow! Ack! More stress! Someone will be with the rest of the zoo while I am away, but I will have not freedom till they get back! I am so not ready for Thanksgiving to come yet. I have to much to do with juries coming up, the end of the semester, life, and everything else. I will be glad for the break, but I have so much to do in so little time.
Oh, good! Finals are a whole week later than I thought they were! I thought I had a concert to sing in during finals week. Yes! That is some stress off my shoulders. The 15th of December is the last day of finals, and then I come back on January 11th. that is about a three week break. Not bad!
I finally have all the Chopin memorized, almost all of the Fugue, and all the prelude. If only it would act like it was memorized...

The stars have aligned in my favor!

Well, since I last wrote the Chopin has gone into my brain, and I have sucessfully played it back for two people. I first played it all the way through from memory on Friday, and then on Monday I limped/crashed/stumbled/fudged my way through. So Dr. Sulton goes, "Good! You can play that friday {for studio class}." I was thinking, "ahh, that just randomly came together for like the second time and it just happened to happen in your office!" Ack! So I tried playing the peice for Elise yesterday. I MADE IT! It has taken most of the semester, but I have a five page peice memorized! Praise the Lord!
I think it is about decided that we are going to go to Brookwood. The really cool thing about that is that I will become the church pianst. I will enjoy that. However, even though I don't like our old church at all, it the groove I am acustomed to. Switching churches, no matter how good the reason it, is scary! The finality of this decision is a little scary, but I am sure God lead us to that church and that he will bless our membership there.
It is for certian- no more piano performance for me! I am now going to be a happy BA who will have caboodles of extra credits lying around. I will have theory and a sacred music minor in theory (though not on paper becuase of some obscure reason!), and a lot of extra piano hours becuase I want 16 not the required 10. Sometimes I wonder how colleges can even function with thier own rules and things. Why do all the different departments have to work different? I mean, there should be a little difference, but why does music work in its own little world? And, as Dr. Rogers said, as soon as I learn the system, they will change it! I love ETBU, but sometimes I wonder what the people who made this stuff up were on...

:::miscievious grin::::

I feel like going crazy today. Those of you that know me probably already think I am crazy, but it is fun saying I want to go crazy. I think I am going to modify my major somewhat-no more piano performance for me! I am almost positive that I am going to become a BA, take French, and be a happier person.
I got gesured at by a rude person on Thursday becuase I didn't pull out into oncoming traffic. I wanted to back into him, but then neither of us could have gone, and the way he was ranting in my rearview mirror made me not want to meet him in person. Sheesh!
Tomorrow is Highlight night. I do not know how I am going to make it through. Highlight night is everything I hate, rude people, lots of noise, crazy lights, lots of people, lots of noise, claustrophobic conditions, and did I mention lots of noise? I hate the noise things like that generate. Not to mention all the people. I am the kind of person who has a largish personal space area, and I get upset when it is violated for long periods of time. Good thing I am not from a no personal space culture!
Highlight night is also a ministry, just a stressful one. At least it only comes once a year.
It is really wierd even doing Highlight night becuase we are in the process of leaving the church. I don't like switching churches, but I have been ready to leave this one for quite some time. I like the tinny church we are looking at, but I am feeling a little torn. I could acompany and get paid at some church somewhere else, or I could go to this little on, be happy, and be thier music person. ARGH!

Ick.

Today is a sticky day. I motion that muggy days in October be banned and made to pay everyone a $100 fine. Ha, ha. I can just see the entry in the student handbook--"Any day in October that fails to comform to the following guidlines will be fined $100..." (Yes, I am poking fun at ETBU)
I had a WONDERFUL practice this morning! I have got the first two pages of that #!&#@ Chopin Prelude mostly memorized! Victory at last! By the way, I really like the piece, but it has been, to quote Elise, "eating my socks." The infuriating thing about Chopin is that he was a pianist, so everything in his fantastically complicated peices is totally doable. Cheater! I really like Chopin, but I am frusterated becuase I have been having the hardest time memorizing it. The Bach fugue on the other hand... : ) I am a hopeless Bach fan. I can't help myself.
I had a Brit. Lit. Test today. The one question that I know for sure I goofed was the one about when Milton wrote Paradise Lost. I said he started writing the year he died. : / That was silly. I must have a stern talk with my gut instinct...
We get to start working on Christmas music in choir today (I think)! I am so excited! I love being in choir, even if we do have to wear the ugliest, most uncomfertalbe, least flattering, most expensive dresses possible. (There is some exageration, but if you had to wear one of these things, you would be singing that tune too.) The concert went really well. My world is (for the moment) peaceful and good. (fingers crossed)

Facinating...

I just realized that I have used an exclimation mark in the title of my blogs for a while. I wonder why. Must be something subcontious! I spent the night at ETBU with Elise and Brandy-this morning I am sort of groggy. I slept on a huge bean bag last night, and surprisingly I am still able to walk. :)
Elise and I watched Ladyhawke last night; I was pretty sure that she would like it. Based on the things she reads and the music she listens to, I was almost 100% sure that she would love the movie. And she did! It is nice having a widescreen laptop! I hope that we can watch movies some other time when there aren't tests looming on the horizon.
I retook the intro to music test; I do not think it is an A, but I am happy becuase anything I got is way better then the F I had. Thank goodness for second chances and wonderful department deans!
The Choir concert is today. I have a black shoe delema. I have some black shoes; I personally think they are leftovers from the Spanish Inquisition. They are some of the most painful things I have ever worn. The problem is, that I can't make up my mind to spend money on some new shoes. I went shopping at Walmart yesterday for two things I knew I hated shopping for, and I discovered a third thing that I do not enjoy shopping for. I hate shopping for jeans, shoes, and make up. I just wanted some simple silver eyes color. Is that to much to ask? Aparently! As if it is not bad enough that there are like seven different brands of makeup to chose from, they can't come out and say, "Silver"! Ack! I ended up giving and up getting something that looks close enough. I came back to school and ate chockolate and mentally huddled up in a hole after that trama. Ick. Oh well. I had better go get some caffine in my system or I might not make it. Yet another day in my crazy life has begun!

ponder and weep!

Okay, there is a reason for that intersting title. First of all, I have been thinking about some interesting things today. Have you ever wondered what the wings of the dawn looked like? I always sort of thought of them as either rainbows, or tagable, golden light. "If I took the wings of the dawn, still you'd find me..." I also was thinking about being an alumni. What will ETBU be like when I come back as an Alum? Will I see shadows of myself in my youth and will I see ghosts of my friends? Will I be shocked by how things have changed, or will I be amazed at how it stayed the same. Will my memories be full of laughter, sunshine, and joy, or will I wonder how I ever made myself stay for three years on this campus? Wow. Deep thought.
The weep part of my title refers to the grade I made on the intro to music test. Lets just say that it is my scholastic carear low, and leave it there. I flunked, failed, and in other words discraced myself. However, Dr. Webster gives grace to the freshmen! We can retake the test! The one problem is that he is giving us the test at seven AM on Tuesday! Interesting! Argh! It is friday, and I need to practice, and I don't want to go through with the weekend. I am singing at a foot ball game tomorrow. Oh well, I am done.

Beyond the Pale!

About a week ago I went to a Beyond the Pale concert. I haven't stopped singing since. I love celtic music! Being able to play music in the Excort has been AWSOME! I want to get a walkman adaptore pluggy thingie though so I can listen to CD's. I was thinking the other day about how people always had to listen to tapes. CD's were a major sound break through! So, sadly tapes must go the way of the dinosaure. Sniff. No more flipping, no more distorted sound, and no more fun grimly picking the tape out of the machine and wondering if you can a) wind it back up again, and b) is it the tape or a hungry tape player at fault. I feel old! I actually remember activly using tapes! At least I don't activly remember records! Then I would be really old. However, records were cool. You just couldn't play them in your car without taking up most of the room. : )
I had a really bad day until my lesson. I had fun. I get to learn the fugue that goes with my Bach Prelude! Life is cool! Before that I had a Monday. Yuck. I stoped at a light and forgott to shift down into first gear. For some strange reason I had a very hard time getting going again. I though I had broken the Escort. Oops. Then I went to theory and discovered agian that if you are going to be working with Diatonic triads, you have to start counting on scale step 1, not 2. Oops. In Ear training I didn't hear the first intervale in the test, so the first four intervales are off, and I made up an intervale for 5. After that everything is alright. I was distracted becuase I was trying to remember how 6/8 rythem worked. Oops. I had to put gas in the Escort today. That was more fun this time becuase I remembered how to get the gas cap off. I also remembered what side the gas cap was on.
Dispite all that, I am feeling much better. I am learning a Fugue! How can anyone learning a Fugue be unhappy? (Yes, I am strange for all you non music people out there.) I wonder how tomorrow is going to go? Can't wait to find out!

Shift away!

Well, believe it or not, I am now driving a stick shift. Notice that I said nothing about how well I do it, or how many times I stall, but I am driving! The very fact that I am still alive should be encouraging. My first lesson driving stick didn't go well at all. I was in tears at the end. Trying to juggle the clutch, balance the gas (you breath on the peddle and it goes VROOOOOOM!!!), and deal with my Dad going, "Trafic is stacking up, people are blowing thier horns, what are you going to do?" (This as I am stalled in the middle of the road) My respones to the following query was a compleate loss of ability to do anything. I do not do well when I am stressed and someone does something like that to me. However, I am past all that now. I just jerk a little whenever I start from 1st gear, reverse, and ocasionally when I shift into 2nd.
School is going well. I feel like an Alto right now becuase I am working on getting a cold, but other than that I am doing well. Havine a car every day is going to be so cool! I enjoy being in the music building so much; everyone here is so nice and looks out for each other. I love the sense of belonging that I never got at LU. I had a intro to phsyc test today. Can't wait to see how that comes bach. Gotta love it! There is an intro to music test on Friday, and part of an ear training test to do by Friday. I can't wait for Fall break. I wonder what I will do?
I can't think of anything else that might possibly be worth writting. More later!