Kitschy Knits

One of the side benifts of living on a mission station that has been here for decades is that you never know what you're going to come across next. I spent close to 5 hours this week sorting through the music stuff, and I found among other things a book of ABBA tunes for the recorder, some Bob Dylan, and an orchestral version of the Doctor Who theme. Who knew such goodies lurked here in this most conservative of places? That got me thinking about some of the pictures I've saved from the horrifying knitting patterns we have around here. Oddly enough, missionaries don't necessarily want all Aunt Eliza May's 1950's-1980's knitting patterns and yarn. Here are items that I just can't imagine ever burdening an innocent child with.

This poor child is trapped in a bonnet and mittens covered in loops. No parent worth their salt would ever put this on a child--the snag factor is far to high. I'm trying to imagine as a knitter wanting to waste that much yarn or feeling the urge to clap such a thing on a probably ungrateful child recipient.

This poor child’s mother apparently thought she’d kill two birds with one stone—the kid needs some kind of soaker cover/bloomers thing, and since she’s going to be scooting around on the floor anyway, she might as well be dust moping it!

There is no excuse for these hats. None whatsoever. "nuff said.