Finding Christmas

I've found it hard to get into the Christmas spirit this year. Due to many things happening in my life right now and the extreme stress of the end of term, I couldn't even bring myself to start listening to Christmas carols till after I finished writing report cards. I have discovered that I possess the dubious ability to be surrounded by Sakeji Christmas and not be affected by it at all. I didn't decorate in my classroom, I did some Christmasy stuff with the children, but Christmas had absolutely NOT started for me at all until really just a few days ago. We had our single's Christmas on Saturday (while I was in the grip of malaria but didn't know it yet...much is now explained) which helped start it, but I think when it really and truly felt like Christmas for the first time was yesterday.

On Thursday I finally got around to lighting the second two advent candles (being sick with malaria has a way of pushing even the most cherished of traditions to the side...) while I ate my first full sized meal in days--an egg with cheese on toast. Nothing big, but to be well enough to be sitting upright and eating that much food was such a gift. Then that afternoon I put on Let It Snow, Let it Reindeer for the first time since last year, and put up my little tree. I had to re-do a string of lights three times before I got something I could live with, but standing there in my living room while a warm rain pattered on the roof, I suddenly started to feel it stirring again. Christmas joy has begun to sneak into my heart. Honestly, being in this place makes it a fight to celebrate much of anything and a fight to celebrate the traditions that hold me together, and this year I am so, so weary of fighting. But standing there in the gentle light of my little tree, I knew again that it is worth it. I will not give them that victory over me, and even though this looks to be the very hardest Christmas I have ever kept, I will keep Christmas in my heart and in my home and in my way, and if someone has a problem with that, then they can just keep it to themselves. So there.

Due to stress injuries like a strained right hand and wrist and a pinched nerve in my right shoulder, knitting pretty much came to a very grinding halt in the last few weeks of term as I had to conserve my energy and strength for the painful (for me physically) piano music for the program. So, most of what I did was a little bit of cross stitch and ornament finishing. Now that it's gifted, here is what I made for Beth. The quote seemed appropriate, and yes, I made one for myself too!

I also finished off this trio of Trekkie ornaments. I stitched them last year, but my odd reluctance to finish off ornament struck again, so I have them on my nerd tree this year. Ironically enough, Java attacked one—the red shirt!

I also have been working on a plastic canvass Avengers logo; I’m pretty happy with it, and have started a SHIELD one as I’m currently watching Season One of Agents of Shield.

I have made a little progress on my gift knitting front. I’ve already given Beth the incomplete pair and taken them back to finish them. This is the second sock, still in its gusset decrease phase.

And while it’s not done in time for use this year, I’m still plodding through my much larger but still no where near large enough tree skirt. Hopefully I’ll have it done so it can go into service after Christmas Day.

That’s all for now—more in progress! Since I am just me and there is hardly anyone here on station, I’m picking and choosing what I want to make for Christmas. This year I have decided that it is very important to me to make my grandmother’s fruitcake as she will never make it again. I desperately need a link with her as I mourn the loss of the woman I love and admire, and adjust to the new reality of dementia. Also, I’m addicted to the stuff…

Parting shot:
And a TARDIS in a little nerd tree!