Hope

I can’t resist—I love to look back at the past to both reminisce, to evaluate, and to plan for the future. Scrooge’s promise to let all three spirits strive within him was a wise one; we must balance all three realities of being creatures living through linear time if we want to live healthy, meaningful lives. Reflecting on the year that’s past; honestly admitting the pain and challenges as well as celebrating the triumphs helps me think towards how I want to do the next year even better. What is the next challenge on my horizon? What do I need to change? What do I need to do better? What am I getting better at? How can I become more Christlike? A few years ago I started picking a word for the year. The first year was named at the end, but the rest have been words chosen to live the year by. For 2017 I choose the word Hope, because there was healing and the promise of change wrapped up in the challenges.

The Light

• I read 83 books in 2017
• I knit over 8,586 meters of yarn in 2017, and spun 286
• I walked my first 5k for To Write Love on Her Arms in April
• I saw my three best friends
• I survived my 8th year of teaching middle school!
• I substitute taught
• I knit my first sweater that fit properly!
• I gained peace about a decision that needed to be made
• I have some better answers about my ongoing shoulder trouble
• I was able to visit with a lot of my family
• I made bagels from scratch for the first time

The Dark

• I continue to live with low to mid-grade chronic pain in my shoulder
• There has been way too much stress in my life; relational and situational
• I failed two of my grade 6 students and had two pass into grade 7 very probationally
• I almost didn’t get to make it home for Christmas
• I injured my left ankle at the end of August and is barely healing; I can’t take my walks
• My struggles with depression are not yet over
• Satan has not been idle in attacking the school I'm involved with; there has been quite a bit of heartache.

While there were some very dark moments in 2017, I realized that for the first time in a long time I actually had hope for the future. Hope for the possibility of a new life, hope for what I was leaving behind, and hope for the day to day. So, while I'm choosing a new word for 2018, I plan to keep shielding and nurturing this glowing spark of hope. Hope for redeeming the past, hope to face each day, and hope for my future. Because I know how my story ends...and that's something awesome to hope for!